Wednesday, 12 December 2012

What I'm Loving Wednesday (4)

This week's rather quick festive kicks go as such:

I'm Loving:

Visits from these little guys....


The wedge-welly....

This particular cake....

And a nice kitty-chrissy jingle to see us through till next week.....


Thursday, 29 November 2012

What I'm Loving Wednesday (3)

I've crossed sides and moved WILW over to this, my other blog. It's more fitting and better suited here! So, hello and here goes.....

I'm loving....these shoes....quirky and fun!

I'm loving....this ticket...for my oldest son's band's future gig appearance at Scotland's most loved venue. New single will be released in January. 

I'm loving....this video....what is it about kiddie's laughter that simply melts the heart! It's a whoopee cushion and a big sis, bringing about the laugh and fall!

I'm loving....this quote....just read from my daughter's Facebook page: 
"Highly embarrassing when you're getting your eyelashes done. You fall asleep, wake yourself up snoring, make the beautician jump and she pokes you in the eye!" 

And finally I'm loving....this certain little guy....:


Thursday, 8 November 2012

Canine Capers

Besides the thought of the kid ending up as a possible meal, I found this rather endearing :



Saturday, 3 November 2012

Absence Makes The Fart Go Longer

  Men take pride in farting. The smellier the better. Yuk! I do my best to keep a little bit of pride and dignity about the place (as well as Febreeze) being the only female. But today, around 3-ish, while the guys were watching the footie, I let one out from the kitchen that even I had to laugh at. Around ten second long and nearly to the tune of Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree

I'd skipped breakfast, empty tum tum, and felt a bit bloated and sore. You know how women are, trying to suppress the dastardly deed. But I didn't expect to compete within the lads' level. This IS going in the diary, but will be worded femininely. Better out than suffering, eh?  Ah, well. I suppose it's sulphur the best.

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Sunday Snippet (39)

L'Oreal adverts claim that their conditioner makes your hair up to 70% softer.  Then underneath, in very small print, they go on to say that this is in comparison to no conditioner.  Call me fussy, but shouldn't a product be at least 100% better than nothing....? Cor, it would makes me want to rip my hair out that sort of thing does!!


Friday, 24 August 2012

Oh, The Shame Of Tit!

To see you through the weekend, I found another classic compilation from Bill's Channel on Youtube.  This across the chest, literally mess, comes in a variety of tee-shirt writes.  Some may really offend, but the devilish side of me knows that had I the gall (or more importantly, youth on my side!)  I'd be flinging them shoulders back, chest thrust out, and making some politically incorrect / derogative  statement via my mountains of doom........Maybe I should have taken that mobile advertising job after all..........☼


Wednesday, 15 August 2012

‡ Oh, Limb-Pick-Yourselves-Up! ‡

With the 2012 Games now over, it's time to reflect on all that athletic Olympian grace and pride. This compilation of pictures is must to see!


Saturday, 11 August 2012

♥ And A Barbeque Made Wiff Love ♥

With Scotland going nuts right now in all this hot weather, everyone that can will be setting up a garden barbeque in an effort to eke out that last little bit of warmth.....and it's still daylight until 10.30pm!  From a quick visit to Facebook just now,  I noticed my gorgeous niece-in-law, Jilly, had prepared a nice barbeque meal for my handsome nephew's (Jamie 'Hambone' Smith) tea tonight...........that's my gal!


Sunday, 29 July 2012

Sunday Snippet (38 )

While surfing the net, getting miffed at all the adverts surrounding my web of interest, I came across one for Ikea.  It informed me of it's new title which was:
              ~ YOU DREAM IT, WE MAKE IT ~

Daft really, isn't it? Relying on my dreams being mostly about cheap wood and cupboards! 

Now THIS shelf, I really like, but have cash flow problems at the 'mo. Wonder what Ikea's equivalent to this one would be like?

Saturday, 28 July 2012

~ Eat Up, Then ~

I do believe that the title of anything should speaks for the rest of it, big time!  That's why I'm *pickled-tink* with these food palaces.  Even in the age of clever photoshopping, (don't know if that is even a word) I can vouch for the majority of these being genuine.  How do I know........?  'Cause if I had the option, I'd be looking at similar names for my own kitchens!!


Tuesday, 24 July 2012

My Google Plus A-Cunt!

I am so peed off!  My Youtube account no longer allows me to comment on comments!  No, I haven't been trollying or whatever (I've only ever been nice, except when coming across clips with Russell Crowe in them!) so I'm not banned or sanctioned or the likes.  Just pissed off that I can't comment on others' comments.

Now - I like to put in my tuppence-worth as much as any British gal, but it's the daft things like not being able to share guitar chords, or ask dumb questions, that I hate to miss out on!  But I'm not singled out - there are heap-loads more like me!  Apparently, it's a Google + problem.

The solution that seems to be working for others is to delete their + account and all associated features or content, then log back in again. But I don't know how this effects Blogger. So, after once accidentally deleting my blog before (from 2005-2007) I'm scared to try what seems to be working for the masses!
So, shit-guy - if you're in the same boat or chuffing train as me.......... HEEEEEEELP!

Friday, 20 July 2012

Get To 'F' (31)

Getting F'd this week comes in the shape of my favourite bird, the Flamingo, who seem to be coping with the farmyard mocker!

Saturday, 14 July 2012

☻ ☺ Deadly Serious? ☺ ☻

I'm all for self-preservation and trying to look your best at times but these poor, once beloved creatures of God, living eternity like this..!?  If my darling Simon had returned from the taxidermist in this kinda state, I'd have told him to well and truly get stuffed!!  Keep 'em in an urn and photo album -  it's less horrific! favourite is at 0.34 where the poor kitty looks less ferocious and more camp!

Thursday, 12 July 2012

What A Waste....!

PrettyBoy got in from his night shift at the hospital at 7am this morning.  He'd been on robot and porter duties, the latter which includes him and a colleague  sneaking off for a sly coffee every half hour  guiding huge cages of waste - mainly food -  from wards, kitchens and shops, to the refuse area. 

This is an action they both hate following.  It is policy to destroy any food or vanity product that has to be sold within the 'best before' date on the item.  Most of these goods still have a day or two to spare as newer goods are delivered.  I kid you not, but a massive mound, a HUGE variety of meats, sandwiches, sweets, coffee beans, chocolates, desserts, filled fruit baskets, and toiletries, are binned.  The majority of the stuff comes from Marks & Spencer and Starbucks. And despite same-day-date-dumping, they still have a few days (and some, weeks)  to spare before actual spoilage.  They are instructed to slit the packets before dumping them.

What irritates me the most is that these products could go to other causes. Particularly the homeless. People would be more than happy to collect and distribute for that and other charitable causes. Hang - I'd even be happy to see it go to the fox or urban wildlife!  But it ALL must go.  Destroyed.

I know policy is policy but the next scrawny, malnourished and weary soul's cup that I chuck a couple of quid into, I could be letting them in on a resolve to their day's hunger and sparing them the public plea.  Weird, isn't it, that a place that is paramount to our well-being, is denying some the most important requirement of survival?  What a shit world we live in! 

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Versus You

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By old folk in tweed hats and coats,
Who half the time were smiling out
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It festers high upon the shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself

Because you just might miss your mum
And dad, when babies diss the books
Colic cries and lullabies
They'll be there to magic up a fluke

They'll still loathe one another, hard
More so almost every day
But love you more than they feel hate
Victorious in either way

It's difficult for pride to show
And sincerity comes even less
When their parents tut and shooed them off
No interest in their interests

They fuck you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do
They're not quite living by the book
Just wanting all the best for you.

Friday, 29 June 2012

Get To 'F' (30)

Thought I'd try a little bit of Fish Food this week!

Well, eat up then!

Saturday, 16 June 2012

Evil Under The Ground......

Can anyone tell me what the world needs with this feckin' vegetable!  It should be banned!  I know it's got lots of things going for it, except the taste, but c'mon! Show me a recipe with celeriac in it and I'd show you the compost heap.........

Friday, 1 June 2012

Get To 'F' (29)

Getting us to 'F' this this week, a little bit of seasonal Food Literalism:
                      Baked Beans!

Saturday, 26 May 2012

☼ Here It Comes ☼

So Scotland is expected to hit 80 degrees tomorrow?   I'll melt.  No matter what room I'm in I'll need the desktop fan everywhere I go.  My complexion will turn red, indoors and out,  my crowning glory, whether up or down,  will be soaking and end up with tuggy waves - drying out worse than ever.  I'll get both lethargic and allergic in the heat and my house invaded by midges and flies.

My mood will depend on how active I need to be and how desperately I need to venture outdoors.  If outside, anyone who asks me if I'm enjoying the sun will be asked to rearrange this common simple saying :  'right off  fuck'.   Thirst levels will soar and insomnia will be calling as the room will be too hot with shut windows and too loud with open windowsThen the ruddy birds start wheetling and cawing from the first itsy wisp of light which is around 3.30 am. 

There will be fights to see who can have a shower/bath first and rows when the previous person has used up all the shampoos etc,  as they will need to be replaced far more quickly.   Food will rapidly go off,  wasps will land in your drinks and the cat will shed all over the house as well as bring you home loads of mice and poor little fledglings.   And that's just the start to the 'best' season of the year..............bollocks.................!

        WHOOOOPEE! Summer's here!

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Sunday Snippet (37)

The bloke behind me in the queue at Tesco's refused to put anything on the conveyer belt without a divider. I haven't a clue what his problem was. The worst case scenario was that I might have paid for his shopping......


Thursday, 17 May 2012

Those Damned Shoes ( Hyde Park Poetry )

                       Those Damned Shoes! 

Huge heels, buckled tight, squashed digits, micro light.
Skinny styles with taper tips, biting on your bottom lip.
Glarey reds, electric blue, matching clutch bag - earrings too!
Running shoes with miles of lacing, throbbing hot with raw abrasions.

Ankle straps, kitten heels, not as comfy as they feel.
Platform soles and knocking knees, twisted ankle guaranteed!
The leather look is really plastic, held on with some loose elastic.
Slinging back and cutting in, can't feel where your toes begin!

Trusting shoes with built-in calk? Still impossible to walk.
Pumps which state that you're quite hep, come flying off with your next step!
Pretty canvas, jelly beans, fray away your boot-kick jeans.
Seasoned shoes all bold and clumpy, hell for leather, getting grumpy

Cool espadrilles in the breeze, leave lace marks right up to the knees!
Going retro with some Kickers, further back for winklepickers!
Loads of girls with pretty faces, wear Uggly boots to many places.
Thigh high boots for kinky nights, make sure they are tad too tight.

Peep toes for the well-to-do's. Valentino - Jimmy Choo's?
Wellingtons for muddy fans, get as mucky as you can!
 Blisters, corns, skin that's chaffing, now who is the one that's laughing?
Weeping sores and toes all crushed, buff that suede up with a brush!

Out we go, to shop again, for our misery and pain.
But girls alone (we always choose) put up with everything for shoes!

                         ♀(Hope you enjoyed my little tribute to the world of crazy shoe shopping!)♀


Friday, 11 May 2012

Getting to 'F' with just minutes to spare is this fine Fishy Flowery Fing!

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Sunday Snippet (36)

I spotted a sign outside a school recently that read  'Parking here could cost a child's life.'  I think that's a little severe. Surely a fine would be enough.....or a couple of points on your licence?

Sunday, 22 April 2012

New Beginnings

I'm having a bit of a bloglist clear out today and fancy a  few changes. I'm working on new headers for my blogs, so may not even manage a Magpie or short story.  I like this kind of thing - good for the soul! And I'm ruddy determined to make some sort of animation in my header. I'm not really too clever at this so I may be at it all night with a few piddle stops! Right - here we go then! Time noted in pm and finished in am no doubt! Put the kettle on then...!!

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Sunday Snippet (35)

In town today I saw advertised on the windows of popular retailers, Debenhams, that they were having the Best Ever Sale. Does that mean that we were all being made fools of last time? To think I almost went into the buggering shop!

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Never In Mind

Never was one willing,
 shading colours from the day
Hues in all their glory
 as the sea bobbed them away

Never was one calmer, 
  listening to bows and hush
Where luminous bounced off the streets
  in mad and virtual rush

Never was one sinking
 as they looked up to the skies
Captivating diamonds 
 hosted under midnight guise

Never was one more inclined
 to meet up after dark
Slipping out to greet the moon
 and count the ripple marks

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Sunday Snippet (37)

When the local rag reported on a recent fire at my friend's home, they said he had awoken to smoke.  These journalists never get their facts right.  It was actually a piss he wanted.

Friday, 16 March 2012

For My Bruv and my Sister-in-law

My brother, Rab and his wife, Elenor, celebrate 40 years of marriage tomorrow. So I'm dedicating this Proclaimers song below for this, their Ruby Wedding Anniversary. It typifies long love and partnership perfectly. 

Friday, 24 February 2012

Get To 'F' (27)

Thought I'd let you all GTF with the image of this beautiful Flamin(c)go Dancer performing in your minds!  Ah,.....she looks like she could sugar many a plum with a simple pirouette:

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Sunday Snippet (36)

Just because Russell Crowe is a fat, cantankerous,  pain-in-the-arse, doesn't make him a bad actor.  It's his acting that does that!


Thursday, 16 February 2012

Tut Tut......Whatever Next...?

Now - as you know, I NEVER  brag about either of my sons' bands.  The words Hotel India or No Need For Idols  rarely leave my lips..........!  So I'm making up for it via fingers........

First and foremost,  NO NEED FOR IDOLS are making their King Tuts Debut soon.  For those who may not be up on Scottish venues, King Tuts is thee ultimate stage that an unsigned band can grace their material upon.  They are sharing the spot with signed band The Banter Thiefs but I'm pretty sure that if ticket sales keep roaring, NNFI could steal the top slot from them!  These guys not only provide great tunes but great showmanship as well.

I am double-blessed, however.  This will be my second visit to a band there.  Hotel India (my oldest sons' band) graced the same stage at New Year two years ago when they were still Casino....and here's what a drummer looks like after an hour's slot at King Tuts......:

ps.......anyone linking on to the bands via this page's link is free to click the 'like' bit on facebook. Free demo's will be given on request and each 'like' gets a pound donation to charity.


                              Get To 'F'

 As some may know, I appreciate it when Friday comes and I get to F. Even better if you get to eff with me. So this week's topic relating to F is feckin' faeries.  Another little sprite is waiting (as per)on my other blog. Check her out!! 


Saturday, 11 February 2012

Spud -U-Look-Like

I dunno about you (UK telly stuff here!) but I reckon if you put a short ginger wig on this couch potato, he'd be a dead ringer for young Chesney from Coronation Street:

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

The Curious Crinkles Of Helena's Hands

Passing yesterday afternoon, as the boys on a rare day together were downstairs fixated on some juvenile computer game, I logged on to my favorite illegal free movie channel and watched for the first time, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. 

Totally engrossed, I put my hand up to scratch my nose and shit myself when I saw loads of deep, and I mean, deeep wrinkles over my fingers and palm, only to remind myself that I had been watching the film with a hot water bottle tightly squeezed between my hands and knees. Mind you, given the nature of the film, I should really have been relieved.........I hate computer games.

Friday, 3 February 2012

Get To 'F' (26)

This Friday,  sees getting to 'F' in a double morphing - all feathers and flowers for the indecisive

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Not After Your Dosh - Just Support!

Now that my son's band, Casino, was forced to change it's name (for copyright reasons) they have now settled on Hotel India as the new one. With it being a New Year and having some Blogger friends who've liked the video's in the sidebar (although I don't know where Jay's got too!) I'm re-introducing the material via posts for others.  There's a charity night coming up that they and 3 other local bands are starring in, although all the bands are over forty friendly to the ears! The charities are

Canine Partners - (my friend and fellow campaigners chosen charity)

Breast Cancer Scotland - (condition linked with me)

As usual the guys are keen to spread their stuff for their town (Falkirk) to get a deserved placing in mainstream music. Just give them a little listen and make that click. The more Facebook 'likes' adds to their ultimate total (donated by local businesses) - so recommend to ALL your friends..?! It would really be appreciated. One click- sod off - and you're done!  This vid might change your mind though! Oh, and as I get asked son is the drummer and had a broken toe during the filming of the video.......!!

ps.....the bellow message is from their Facebook profile. They look after their residents they do!  We want to pack that hotel!!

Friday, 27 January 2012

Get To 'F' (25)

             I'm only here for the scented beer......! 
                   My first 'effing' find this year!

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Wur Rabbie

                                                    Rabbie Burns
                         January 25th 1759 - 21st July 1796

Tonight is Burns night, where Scottish families will sit around the table, eating loads of Haggis (if we're lucky with the kill!) neeps and tatties.  This tradition carries on all over the world, too. Tonight my daughter, who lives in London, is having a Burns meal for family and friends there. Traditionally, the meal is washed down with a tot/lot of whisky, and poems and songs of our famous, talented, womanising, philandering, bad boy bard, are performed until one passes out. Below is the first verse of the Selkirk Grace, read before the haggis's skin is split. Prestigious celebrations see this in with an actual piper, highland dress and a sword.

No matter where in the world I may be (couch), I always celebrate oor Rabbie.  And if you haven't read any of his works, please do.  Any translations needed, just give me a nudge.  And if anybody is brave enough to try haggis for yourself, the recipe is there, too.  Is it any wonder Scotsmen wear kilts...?! 


Saturday, 21 January 2012

The Call

Walking through the woodlands, now suburbia's lost sight
Was the last place that she should have gone, under sapphire skies that night

A rose thorn picked her previously, blood ignites the past
Led her to her messy wardrobe, dress all crushed and stained with grass

Her life had crumbled overnight, her mind kept folding stairs
Recalled that evening's tragedy, no more times to call theirs

They halted at this very spot, in silent sounds of life
His destiny decided by the edging on that knife

They ran off with no money, no valuables to steal
Breathed in love and honesty, the main part of their deal.

A quick but painful passing, his eyes pleading to her.
His last vision was her terror as his sight began to blur.

Months had past and so it seemed, she conquered over pain
Never shall she take love to this deep level again

So while standing on the very spot, she knew what she should do
Join him in eternity, red penetrating blue

The drop was sharp and very deep, the river ran below
A few brave steps and up she'll fly, all pretty for her beau

But the second that she closed her eyes, she felt a nippy peck
Her scarlet scarf was firmly tugged and flew straight from her neck

Four calling birds took to the silk, and rested on the branch
The scarf that still held Peter's blood, that doubled as a stanch

The birds were loud, despite the night, a ruckus round the red
And watermarks in tears now spilling down that fateful dress

A calling bird alone did sing, in vague familiar tune
Similar to that that Peter hummed up to the moon

Quietly she rose and started slowly walking back
To the home they'd built together,  with it's little flaws and cracks

At the gate she smiled and slid the scarf quite easy overhead
The knot, as ever, far too tight - a Calling Bird  in stead.


Thursday, 19 January 2012

TimeTo GIG Deep Again

Arrangements for the April/May charity gig (venue to be considered at a later date due to rising interest) look promising at this early stage.  The charity's considered this time (as I'll have a helper) will be Canine Partners and one of the Pink Breast Cancer charities, following my own recent scare! As well as my own two sons' bands,  I'm lucky enough to have 2 bands of older generation members, namely (The 117) and (The Signals) who have both played for charity many times before, seem happy enough to join the artists list. One of them asked if I could arrange for them to 'support' my older son's band sometime, which was rather touching.

Talking of which me older lad (PrettyBoy)s band, Hotel India (these guys) are on the up with more and more requests to play at gigs. Formerly Casino, they had to drop their name as another signed band called Casino said there would be copyright problems if they were to be signed themselves.  In a weird fashion, I suppose that's a compliment!!

The new name derived from the phonetic alphabet - you know all that Tango, Charlie, stuff. Initialled to the simple pleasantry of HI, (wave your handies!) Hotel India was eventually chosen. Took a little getting used to but the change see ms to be falling in their favour. Silly gimmicky advertising in response to this kind of advertising below: (as on view down my sidebar - you can click on the pic, look for the 'like' at the top of page and you'll be helping raise the interest before the charity gig) has been successful in gaining fun interest and Facebook fans. Just one quick-click  visit (and a listen if you fancy it!) and it's all over!

Make 'Room' For A Listen (no extra charge)

Make 'Room' For A Listen (no extra charge) 

Have YOU snuck into the Hotel yet?

Present fans that sneak other newbie's into the Hotel, and rise the 'likes' status get rewarded with a new track once the desired number is reached.  Demo's will be thrown out the Hotel windows and you have to be online at certain dates to try catch them.  Daft quizzes for merchandise is another future consideration. And if music can't be fun at the same time, what's the point in being a band!!??

So it seems as if people are up for slipping in the back way when the concierge ain't looking! Who knows what the guys will come up with next, (apart from amazing new material) but a little change sometimes goes a long way! And anyone who doesn't want to join in the mania can simply Foxtrot off!

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Mugger Off!!

This morning, around ten o'clock, my husband was mugged. What was the thief after? The very HAT on his head.

Patiently Trevor was listening to his iPod waiting on the lights to permit him to cross the road. Next thing he knew he felt a punch to the back of his head and a lad around 20 ran off with his hat. The little shit turned and gave my hubby the V-sign for added insult. His 'friends' picked him up in a van along the road.

What gets me is that this was an act of sudden circumstance. They've taken into account that as my hubby was the only pedestrian to cross, was listening to music and not quite a spring chicken, their impromptu plan worked.

The police are at least looking into it. If the guys in the van aren't local, they may not be aware of all the CCTV surrounding the very spot where the mugging happened. It's only a few yards away from the primary school and shopping precinct so there's a chance they might nail the culprits. If they are local, then they've got some bottle. Makes you wonder what else the bastards would consider on impulse.

 The hat was really my son's and he paid £40 for it, it had a logo so the thief knew it was a brand name. I know it's hardly the crime of the century, but it's the assault and shock that angers me more than the loss. He's a decent bloke my hubby and didn't deserve it. Time I got the knitting needles looked out.

Friday, 13 January 2012

Getting To New Fook

Friday's here at last and to kick start the New Year I'm uploading a quadruple set of mad and wonderful edits. Thought of a food theme (as one is perpetually hungry) so that kept me happy for a bit. Do excuse me as I nip to the loo - via the fridge.....!