Saturday, 30 April 2011

The Royal Weeding

I didn't spend any time at all watching the Royal Wedding. What a long boring ceremony. I think those who were willing enough to endure echoed mumbles for hours on end, were more interested on the invitees and outfits.  Anyhow, as previously planned, I spent the time weeding the drive instead. After I'd finished I decided to nip down to the local shops for some root killer, only to find that shops were ruddy well closed on public holiday!   Grrrrr!                          Long may the next royal engagement last!!

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Time To Flow Home

My twin sister, as well as my best friend, are going through the menopause right now. In a sense I'm lucky, as a rushed hysterectomy took away all my womany bits when I was 29 and I can tell you now - I haven't once missed my womb.  For almost 20 years now,  I've not needed a pillow-sized-gusset panty pad to see me through the day / next hour and it's been a pleasure.  Anyhow - we were on the subject of menstruation and mood swings.

She told me about this gay couple (one was her bridesmaid) who synchronised their menstrual cycles so they'd cope with the shit-side of monthlies together. They were going through crockery like a Greek wedding serving Angel Dust kebabs before, not to mention dents in the wall and broken CD's!  Now, trying to convince a doctor that a lesbian and her girlfriend want to go on the contraceptive pill is trying enough, but it took 3 GP opinions for this request to be backed. WTF..?

I'm lucky, I found suitable HRT  (after a few months). I can tell you now, it is not a pleasant sight to watch a friend or relative take hot, violent flushes out of the blue and turn into psycho in under a minute, especially if in the next minute they're accompanied by an urgent parting of the red sea. Bloody shame, if you ask me...!

Friday, 15 April 2011

Get To 'F'

Every Friday I search for a picture subject, focusing on the letter 'F'.   This week's F-ing find.....Food (literalisms).  Anyone wanting the recipes just give me a shout!

 ...........anyone smell garlic here....?

A gamble on cheap tomatoes....................

Wednesday, 13 April 2011


Each Wednesday I aim to bring a celebrity / well known bloke or gal and rip the star right out of them - via pictures.  We ALL have our off days although I'm sitting here with make-up, hair done and matching outfit (hair scraped back, dressing gown with egg down it and cold feet)  so I thought it would be fun to give the Wednesday treatment to our world of glam, and reveal their bit of common...

 I'll start it off with my very own fantasy bloke. Voted the handsomest man in the world (and I'm confident the galaxy) Simon Baker.   It's nice to see your lustings are prone to the same ruddy treatment from the sun....!

WOW! - how to do that beach thang > 

WOE....!! How not to do it > (I'd still apply the after-sun on him , like...)


 And as we know and usually love him.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Sweet Hostage

The last time I saw this film, I was in a Blackpool B&B 25 years ago, while nursing a hangover. For some reason I let this film slip my mind and only came across it by accident recently on youtube. I'd forgotten that I'd said back then I'd need to buy the video as soon as I got home, but never did. I'd also realised how these types of films are my favourite. 

For me nothing stirs the soul better than an illicit love affair. Not the married tryst type stuff (yawn) but the ones where society gasp, frown upon. Teacher-pupil, priest-reprobate, brother-sister, doctor-patient stuff ect, with a story to say 'fuck the boundaries'  life's brought us together, deal with it. Sadly it's how others do deal with it that brings about the demise, but there's usually a cracking fizzle until that cracking gun! There are few with a happy ending. Films and books I've enjoyed are Lolita, The Luzhin Defence, Ae Fond Kiss, Stigmata among others and now this film. 

Sweet Hostage is about a 35 year old escaped mental patient who kidnaps a poorly-educated and parentally-drudged teenager and hide in a mountain shack. Initially, you would assume that she's in for a raping and a clobbering but you find he has respect for her 'womanly functions' and bathing.  He has an obsession with poetry and performance and literates the girl enough for her to write a poem that captures his heart. Despite him having once been married, they are are each others first lover. It is sweet and girly, but your heart does go out to other troubled souls. A very young Martin Sheen and Linda Blair star in this one. Seek it out. I've left the capture clip and if you stop on 2.24 - you get an eery glare from Linda that we've seen somewhere before............