Saturday, 26 May 2012

☼ Here It Comes ☼

So Scotland is expected to hit 80 degrees tomorrow?   I'll melt.  No matter what room I'm in I'll need the desktop fan everywhere I go.  My complexion will turn red, indoors and out,  my crowning glory, whether up or down,  will be soaking and end up with tuggy waves - drying out worse than ever.  I'll get both lethargic and allergic in the heat and my house invaded by midges and flies.

My mood will depend on how active I need to be and how desperately I need to venture outdoors.  If outside, anyone who asks me if I'm enjoying the sun will be asked to rearrange this common simple saying :  'right off  fuck'.   Thirst levels will soar and insomnia will be calling as the room will be too hot with shut windows and too loud with open windowsThen the ruddy birds start wheetling and cawing from the first itsy wisp of light which is around 3.30 am. 

There will be fights to see who can have a shower/bath first and rows when the previous person has used up all the shampoos etc,  as they will need to be replaced far more quickly.   Food will rapidly go off,  wasps will land in your drinks and the cat will shed all over the house as well as bring you home loads of mice and poor little fledglings.   And that's just the start to the 'best' season of the year..............bollocks.................!

        WHOOOOPEE! Summer's here!

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Sunday Snippet (37)

The bloke behind me in the queue at Tesco's refused to put anything on the conveyer belt without a divider. I haven't a clue what his problem was. The worst case scenario was that I might have paid for his shopping......


Thursday, 17 May 2012

Those Damned Shoes ( Hyde Park Poetry )

                       Those Damned Shoes! 

Huge heels, buckled tight, squashed digits, micro light.
Skinny styles with taper tips, biting on your bottom lip.
Glarey reds, electric blue, matching clutch bag - earrings too!
Running shoes with miles of lacing, throbbing hot with raw abrasions.

Ankle straps, kitten heels, not as comfy as they feel.
Platform soles and knocking knees, twisted ankle guaranteed!
The leather look is really plastic, held on with some loose elastic.
Slinging back and cutting in, can't feel where your toes begin!

Trusting shoes with built-in calk? Still impossible to walk.
Pumps which state that you're quite hep, come flying off with your next step!
Pretty canvas, jelly beans, fray away your boot-kick jeans.
Seasoned shoes all bold and clumpy, hell for leather, getting grumpy

Cool espadrilles in the breeze, leave lace marks right up to the knees!
Going retro with some Kickers, further back for winklepickers!
Loads of girls with pretty faces, wear Uggly boots to many places.
Thigh high boots for kinky nights, make sure they are tad too tight.

Peep toes for the well-to-do's. Valentino - Jimmy Choo's?
Wellingtons for muddy fans, get as mucky as you can!
 Blisters, corns, skin that's chaffing, now who is the one that's laughing?
Weeping sores and toes all crushed, buff that suede up with a brush!

Out we go, to shop again, for our misery and pain.
But girls alone (we always choose) put up with everything for shoes!

                         ♀(Hope you enjoyed my little tribute to the world of crazy shoe shopping!)♀


Friday, 11 May 2012

Getting to 'F' with just minutes to spare is this fine Fishy Flowery Fing!