So Scotland is expected to hit 80 degrees tomorrow? I'll melt. No matter what room I'm in I'll need the desktop fan everywhere I go. My complexion will turn red, indoors and out, my crowning glory, whether up or down, will be soaking and end up with tuggy waves - drying out worse than ever. I'll get both lethargic and allergic in the heat and my house invaded by midges and flies.
My mood will depend on how active I need to be and how desperately I need to venture outdoors. If outside, anyone who asks me if I'm enjoying the sun will be asked to rearrange this common simple saying : 'right off fuck'. Thirst levels will soar and insomnia will be calling as the room will be too hot with shut windows and too loud with open windows. Then the ruddy birds start wheetling and cawing from the first itsy wisp of light which is around 3.30 am.
There will be fights to see who can have a shower/bath first and rows when the previous person has used up all the shampoos etc, as they will need to be replaced far more quickly. Food will rapidly go off, wasps will land in your drinks and the cat will shed all over the house as well as bring you home loads of mice and poor little fledglings. And that's just the start to the 'best' season of the year..............bollocks.................!
WHOOOOPEE! Summer's here!