Oh, The Shame Of Tit!

To see you through the weekend, I found another classic compilation from Bill's Channel on Youtube.  This across the chest, literally mess, comes in a variety of tee-shirt writes.  Some may really offend, but the devilish side of me knows that had I the gall (or more importantly, youth on my side!)  I'd be flinging them shoulders back, chest thrust out, and making some politically incorrect / derogative  statement via my mountains of doom........Maybe I should have taken that mobile advertising job after all..........☼


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‡ Oh, Limb-Pick-Yourselves-Up! ‡

With the 2012 Games now over, it's time to reflect on all that athletic Olympian grace and pride. This compilation of pictures is must to see!



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♥ And A Barbeque Made Wiff Love ♥

With Scotland going nuts right now in all this hot weather, everyone that can will be setting up a garden barbeque in an effort to eke out that last little bit of warmth.....and it's still daylight until 10.30pm!  From a quick visit to Facebook just now,  I noticed my gorgeous niece-in-law, Jilly, had prepared a nice barbeque meal for my handsome nephew's (Jamie 'Hambone' Smith) tea tonight...........that's my gal!






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Sunday Snippet (38 )

While surfing the net, getting miffed at all the adverts surrounding my web of interest, I came across one for Ikea.  It informed me of it's new title which was:
                    
              ~ YOU DREAM IT, WE MAKE IT ~


 
Daft really, isn't it? Relying on my dreams being mostly about cheap wood and cupboards! 

Now THIS shelf, I really like, but have cash flow problems at the 'mo. Wonder what Ikea's equivalent to this one would be like?
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~ Eat Up, Then ~

I do believe that the title of anything should speaks for the rest of it, big time!  That's why I'm *pickled-tink* with these food palaces.  Even in the age of clever photoshopping, (don't know if that is even a word) I can vouch for the majority of these being genuine.  How do I know........?  'Cause if I had the option, I'd be looking at similar names for my own kitchens!!


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My Google Plus A-Cunt!

I am so peed off!  My Youtube account no longer allows me to comment on comments!  No, I haven't been trollying or whatever (I've only ever been nice, except when coming across clips with Russell Crowe in them!) so I'm not banned or sanctioned or the likes.  Just pissed off that I can't comment on others' comments.

Now - I like to put in my tuppence-worth as much as any British gal, but it's the daft things like not being able to share guitar chords, or ask dumb questions, that I hate to miss out on!  But I'm not singled out - there are heap-loads more like me!  Apparently, it's a Google + problem.

The solution that seems to be working for others is to delete their + account and all associated features or content, then log back in again. But I don't know how this effects Blogger. So, after once accidentally deleting my blog before (from 2005-2007) I'm scared to try what seems to be working for the masses!

So, shit-guy - if you're in the same boat or chuffing train as me.......... HEEEEEEELP!

Get To 'F' (31)

Getting F'd this week comes in the shape of my favourite bird, the Flamingo, who seem to be coping with the farmyard mocker!

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☻ ☺ Deadly Serious? ☺ ☻

I'm all for self-preservation and trying to look your best at times but these poor, once beloved creatures of God, living eternity like this..!?  If my darling Simon had returned from the taxidermist in this kinda state, I'd have told him to well and truly get stuffed!!  Keep 'em in an urn and photo album -  it's less horrific!

 ps........my favourite is at 0.34 where the poor kitty looks less ferocious and more camp!

What A Waste....!

PrettyBoy got in from his night shift at the hospital at 7am this morning.  He'd been on robot and porter duties, the latter which includes him and a colleague  sneaking off for a sly coffee every half hour  guiding huge cages of waste - mainly food -  from wards, kitchens and shops, to the refuse area. 

This is an action they both hate following.  It is policy to destroy any food or vanity product that has to be sold within the 'best before' date on the item.  Most of these goods still have a day or two to spare as newer goods are delivered.  I kid you not, but a massive mound, a HUGE variety of meats, sandwiches, sweets, coffee beans, chocolates, desserts, filled fruit baskets, and toiletries, are binned.  The majority of the stuff comes from Marks & Spencer and Starbucks. And despite same-day-date-dumping, they still have a few days (and some, weeks)  to spare before actual spoilage.  They are instructed to slit the packets before dumping them.

What irritates me the most is that these products could go to other causes. Particularly the homeless. People would be more than happy to collect and distribute for that and other charitable causes. Hang - I'd even be happy to see it go to the fox or urban wildlife!  But it ALL must go.  Destroyed.

I know policy is policy but the next scrawny, malnourished and weary soul's cup that I chuck a couple of quid into, I could be letting them in on a resolve to their day's hunger and sparing them the public plea.  Weird, isn't it, that a place that is paramount to our well-being, is denying some the most important requirement of survival?  What a shit world we live in! 
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Versus You

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By old folk in tweed hats and coats,
Who half the time were smiling out
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It festers high upon the shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself

Because you just might miss your mum
And dad, when babies diss the books
Colic cries and lullabies
They'll be there to magic up a fluke

They'll still loathe one another, hard
More so almost every day
But love you more than they feel hate
Victorious in either way

It's difficult for pride to show
And sincerity comes even less
When their parents tut and shooed them off
No interest in their interests

They fuck you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do
They're not quite living by the book
Just wanting all the best for you.

Get To 'F' (30)

Thought I'd try a little bit of Fish Food this week!

Well, eat up then!

Evil Under The Ground......

Can anyone tell me what the world needs with this feckin' vegetable!  It should be banned!  I know it's got lots of things going for it, except the taste, but c'mon! Show me a recipe with celeriac in it and I'd show you the compost heap.........

Get To 'F' (29)

Getting us to 'F' this this week, a little bit of seasonal Food Literalism:

                      Baked Beans!
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☼ Here It Comes ☼

So Scotland is expected to hit 80 degrees tomorrow?   I'll melt.  No matter what room I'm in I'll need the desktop fan everywhere I go.  My complexion will turn red, indoors and out,  my crowning glory, whether up or down,  will be soaking and end up with tuggy waves - drying out worse than ever.  I'll get both lethargic and allergic in the heat and my house invaded by midges and flies.

My mood will depend on how active I need to be and how desperately I need to venture outdoors.  If outside, anyone who asks me if I'm enjoying the sun will be asked to rearrange this common simple saying :  'right off  fuck'.   Thirst levels will soar and insomnia will be calling as the room will be too hot with shut windows and too loud with open windows.  Then the ruddy birds start wheetling and cawing from the first itsy wisp of light which is around 3.30 am. 

There will be fights to see who can have a shower/bath first and rows when the previous person has used up all the shampoos etc,  as they will need to be replaced far more quickly.   Food will rapidly go off,  wasps will land in your drinks and the cat will shed all over the house as well as bring you home loads of mice and poor little fledglings.   And that's just the start to the 'best' season of the year..............bollocks.................!

        WHOOOOPEE! Summer's here!

Sunday Snippet (37)

The bloke behind me in the queue at Tesco's refused to put anything on the conveyer belt without a divider. I haven't a clue what his problem was. The worst case scenario was that I might have paid for his shopping......

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Those Damned Shoes ( Hyde Park Poetry )

                       Those Damned Shoes! 
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Huge heels, buckled tight, squashed digits, micro light.
Skinny styles with taper tips, biting on your bottom lip.
Glarey reds, electric blue, matching clutch bag - earrings too!
Running shoes with miles of lacing, throbbing hot with raw abrasions.

Ankle straps, kitten heels, not as comfy as they feel.
Platform soles and knocking knees, twisted ankle guaranteed!
The leather look is really plastic, held on with some loose elastic.
Slinging back and cutting in, can't feel where your toes begin!

Trusting shoes with built-in calk? Still impossible to walk.
Pumps which state that you're quite hep, come flying off with your next step!
Pretty canvas, jelly beans, fray away your boot-kick jeans.
Seasoned shoes all bold and clumpy, hell for leather, getting grumpy

Cool espadrilles in the breeze, leave lace marks right up to the knees!
Going retro with some Kickers, further back for winklepickers!
Loads of girls with pretty faces, wear Uggly boots to many places.
Thigh high boots for kinky nights, make sure they are tad too tight.

Peep toes for the well-to-do's. Valentino - Jimmy Choo's?
Wellingtons for muddy fans, get as mucky as you can!
 Blisters, corns, skin that's chaffing, now who is the one that's laughing?
Weeping sores and toes all crushed, buff that suede up with a brush!

Out we go, to shop again, for our misery and pain.
But girls alone (we always choose) put up with everything for shoes!

                         ♀(Hope you enjoyed my little tribute to the world of crazy shoe shopping!)♀

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Getting to 'F' with just minutes to spare is this fine Fishy Flowery Fing!

Sunday Snippet (36)

I spotted a sign outside a school recently that read  'Parking here could cost a child's life.'  I think that's a little severe. Surely a fine would be enough.....or a couple of points on your licence?