Thursday, 24 December 2009

10 New Year Resolutions That I'd Never Have Kept Anyhow....

1. To actually wear the slippers anyone ever gets me, instead of using them as presents for others.

2. To stand on the bathroom scales and feel optimistic.

3. To pretend that unrequited love didn't ever hurt.

4. To stop feeling smug that apart from being a tad jowly, I don't have one single wrinkle on my face and I'll be 50 in a few years time.

5. To brush my teeth after EVERY cherry yogurt I demolish at night.

6. To stop wanting to give David Tennant and Brett Anderson one every time I see them on screen.

7. To stop kissing my cat on the mouth.

8. To believe a skinny bitch when she says "You're not as big as you think you look!" In her terms you're worse.

9. To convince myself everything's gonna be alright.

10. To stop wondering which is worse: a boring, anally retentive bastard who doesn't have the decency to keep in touch now that he's used you or a smug bitch who does-but-doesn't look down her nose at you.

6 comments:

Naqvee said...

nice blog. keep it up. brushing teeth is also in d resolution. i used to keep that in mine but never fulfilled it. so started keeping that in "to do list" rather than in my resolutions. funny...
love Naqvee
faheimgul.blogspot.com

Lena said...

Thanks Naqvee. I shall go make the biggest 'to list' ever!!
x

Darcy said...

is it wrong to kiss your cat on the mouth ;-)?? dangit.

Lena said...

Darcy - I love my cat so much that I don't stop to think if it's just back after taking a shit before I kiss the little ginger runt!

auntiegwen said...

I have shed loads of wrin kles, d'ye want some of mine pet ????

ps I'd share David tennant with you

HNY hen xxxx

Lena said...

A belated HNY, too. Gwen! I'll maybe take a few of those teensy wee lines (shedloads my arse!) if you promise to let me have at least one night on my own with David........!