Get It Right Up Ye.........!

Plastic Elastic 




I was surfing through cable guff last night and came across a programme on beauty and vanity ect.   One  subject of the show was 48 year-old Mariam, whom had spent more than £20,000 on lifts and tucks over the years. There was a HUGE difference, she was wrinkle free and taut but cocked up the whole effect by still sporting an eighties bubble perm and last decade clothes.  Now she was no more than a younger looking obvious old dear. For £20,000 I'd have wanted to be asked what year at high school I was in!!

But the political overview alerted that more money was spent on boob jobs and viagra per year than on research into Altzheimers disease - a condition the programme picked at random to compare, I hope. Otherwise there's a chance by 2045 that the elderly will mostly have perky tits and stiff todgers but no fucking idea why!

ps.....I'll stick to my dedicated and timely twice a day rinse with Dove soap and be happy to one day fling my boob over my shoulder while I scour away with a buffer!

Music Matters!

Only a few here will know who Bernard Butler is, but this is a beautiful little message to music fans in general out there. You'll know all the influences, however!

Sunday Snippet (30)

 I burned my hand recently and the first reaction was to get it as cold as possible, so used the old method of cold water, which soothed and worked a treat. Then it lead to me thinking that that's rather unfair. I mean - why can't you put something blunt on a cut, or straight salt on a sore tooth...? Seems mother nature's not all she's cracked up to be!

When The Morning Comes ( The Boy )

The boy's off the rails again, he's gone and lost himself
He'll try to find his way back home, but he doesn't want your help.
'Don't waste your words on me', the boy says in his way
The girl behind him starts to cry, but he doesn't shift his gaze.

Where has he been?
What has he done?
Is all forgotten when the morning comes.

His senses start to burn, his friends become his foes.
He'll be your friend again in time, it's just the way it goes.
It's all just bravado, the boy's a drama queen,
You know he's just like you and me, he likes to cause a scene.

But where has he been?
What has he done?
Is all forgotten when the morning comes. 

It's then seeped into his mind, he tries to understand.
Before you take the leap of faith, you let go of a hand hand.
The world's just one big sigh, inhaled and blown away
Surface only to correct, the value of his day.


Where have you been?
What have you done?
Can you forgive him, when the morning comes?

Listen up!?  Fancy listening to it...?


http://tigerlilley.blogspot.com/2011/05/when-morning-comes.html 

Get To 'F'

This weeks' F-ing find......Feigning Flowers:

Release Of The Boy

It's here at last. The 4th video from Casino (you know, the band that every other band fucking hates) made to accompany their new, tender melody. For newer readers, Casino is the band my son is the drummer of.

This time, however, as this song is mostly acoustic, he all but shakes a wee sole egg-maraca throughout.  Which was an extremely hard thing to maintain, as with most drummers it is paramount to do a hairy and give a manic rendition, similar to the flailing of Animal from the Muppets, before the start of every song.

In the video, the Wurlitzer that the lead singer and Jack-of-all-fingers (keyboard, guitar, tambo, flute, kazoo - you name it he plays it) is plunking, is one of only 10,000 left in the world, so that little bit of history is captured nicely. In a beautiful song that is easy on the ear and age-gap friendly.

Formatting of the film is created for an oldish feel about it, oh, and look out for a fleeting appearance from George Harrison on Ouija board.  It's amazing what appears under correct lighting these days. And, in true Casino style, they dedicate a tribute of a daft fleeting 'sneer' the lead guitarist made at the end, only he don't know that yet!  What use is music if it can't be fun? Enjoy.

Sunday Snippet (29)

Scientists claim that spider's silk is one of the strongest materials known to man. So how come I've just popped a hole straight through one of their webs, and I'm not even that hard....??


Incy Wincy Creme Puff

Get To 'F'

Every Friday I go on a cyber hunt to find a picture that fits under the letter  'F' catagory, so today is Food Flattery.  How a celebrity might look, going from one extreme to the other. Always in the public eye is Ms. Hilton. I think she lost the grasp of her Best Friends Forever show as she was looking for a new one every year.! Tuck in, Paris. I'll give you ten minutes before you go running off to the bogs.........

Housewife's Xanadu

 



















No rules that obligate us
No missions we can't solve
Stationary roads ahead
Let sun and moon revolve

What happens to us, happens
Give it our biggest shot
Raining down on reigning us
More pennies in the slot

So what if skies are heavy
Accepting the sublime
We'll reason, judge, appreciate
While journeying our minds

Sunday Snippet (28)

Yesterday I watched a man putting a plastic bag of dog shit in a bin attached to a lamp post. A sign on the bin read:  'Advertise Your Business Here' .  Well, I for one cannot think of a trade or company that could possibly benefit from an association with bins of dog shit on lamp posts. Hmmmmm....

The Royal Weeding

I didn't spend any time at all watching the Royal Wedding. What a long boring ceremony. I think those who were willing enough to endure echoed mumbles for hours on end, were more interested on the invitees and outfits.  Anyhow, as previously planned, I spent the time weeding the drive instead. After I'd finished I decided to nip down to the local shops for some root killer, only to find that shops were ruddy well closed on public holiday!   Grrrrr!                          Long may the next royal engagement last!!

Time To Flow Home

My twin sister, as well as my best friend, are going through the menopause right now. In a sense I'm lucky, as a rushed hysterectomy took away all my womany bits when I was 29 and I can tell you now - I haven't once missed my womb.  For almost 20 years now,  I've not needed a pillow-sized-gusset panty pad to see me through the day / next hour and it's been a pleasure.  Anyhow - we were on the subject of menstruation and mood swings.

She told me about this gay couple (one was her bridesmaid) who synchronised their menstrual cycles so they'd cope with the shit-side of monthlies together. They were going through crockery like a Greek wedding serving Angel Dust kebabs before, not to mention dents in the wall and broken CD's!  Now, trying to convince a doctor that a lesbian and her girlfriend want to go on the contraceptive pill is trying enough, but it took 3 GP opinions for this request to be backed. WTF..?

I'm lucky, I found suitable HRT  (after a few months). I can tell you now, it is not a pleasant sight to watch a friend or relative take hot, violent flushes out of the blue and turn into psycho in under a minute, especially if in the next minute they're accompanied by an urgent parting of the red sea. Bloody shame, if you ask me...!

Get To 'F'

Every Friday I search for a picture subject, focusing on the letter 'F'.   This week's F-ing find.....Food (literalisms).  Anyone wanting the recipes just give me a shout!












 ...........anyone smell garlic here....?











A gamble on cheap tomatoes....................

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

WOW WOE Wednesdays - SIMON BAKER

Each Wednesday I aim to bring a celebrity / well known bloke or gal and rip the star right out of them - via pictures.  We ALL have our off days although I'm sitting here with make-up, hair done and matching outfit (hair scraped back, dressing gown with egg down it and cold feet)  so I thought it would be fun to give the Wednesday treatment to our world of glam, and reveal their bit of common...

 I'll start it off with my very own fantasy bloke. Voted the handsomest man in the world (and I'm confident the galaxy) Simon Baker.   It's nice to see your lustings are prone to the same ruddy treatment from the sun....!

WOW! - how to do that beach thang > 
















WOE....!! How not to do it > (I'd still apply the after-sun on him , like...)














                  ***************************************************************************************

 And as we know and usually love him.

Sweet Hostage

The last time I saw this film, I was in a Blackpool B&B 25 years ago, while nursing a hangover. For some reason I let this film slip my mind and only came across it by accident recently on youtube. I'd forgotten that I'd said back then I'd need to buy the video as soon as I got home, but never did. I'd also realised how these types of films are my favourite. 

For me nothing stirs the soul better than an illicit love affair. Not the married tryst type stuff (yawn) but the ones where society gasp, frown upon. Teacher-pupil, priest-reprobate, brother-sister, doctor-patient stuff ect, with a story to say 'fuck the boundaries'  life's brought us together, deal with it. Sadly it's how others do deal with it that brings about the demise, but there's usually a cracking fizzle until that cracking gun! There are few with a happy ending. Films and books I've enjoyed are Lolita, The Luzhin Defence, Ae Fond Kiss, Stigmata among others and now this film. 

Sweet Hostage is about a 35 year old escaped mental patient who kidnaps a poorly-educated and parentally-drudged teenager and hide in a mountain shack. Initially, you would assume that she's in for a raping and a clobbering but you find he has respect for her 'womanly functions' and bathing.  He has an obsession with poetry and performance and literates the girl enough for her to write a poem that captures his heart. Despite him having once been married, they are are each others first lover. It is sweet and girly, but your heart does go out to other troubled souls. A very young Martin Sheen and Linda Blair star in this one. Seek it out. I've left the capture clip and if you stop on 2.24 - you get an eery glare from Linda that we've seen somewhere before............

The Carrier Queen

 Funny how a trickling heart
stays with you from your teens.
That first influx, that bated breath
and endless 'where's he been's?'


Following his chosen path,
a corridor that you..
Have no need to be walking down,
or simply passing through.

How those eyes drew girls alike,
that thick fair hair that shone.
So aware that deep inside,
beat unison forlorn.


Today he sat beside her, 
not through choice but on command.
Her food it stuck on it's way down,
as his pinky brushed her hand.


She kept admiring from afar, 
feeling quite inept.
A prince to silent pauper,
in her lacey head she kept.


One day she plucked the courage,
asked a friend to plea her case.
He answered 'never in a million years",
laughing in her face.


Her friend delivered his reply,
a heart so wrenched it splits.
And without so much, as a mere touch,
cut her into little bits.


Soon parading round the school,
arm round another's waist.
Brains over beauty, rightly wrong
puts vermin in it's place.


Unrequited, feelings drowned,
into the pool of hurt.
No point in trying to keep afloat,
something that life reverts.

*******
30 years along the line
they met up quite by chance.
Was not so much as a mere touch,
but an evening of askance.

This heart he once had broken, 
beat a multitude of class.
Unable to believe his eyes,
kept topping up his glass.


This shy and hardy woman, 
now a mother and a wife.
Encumbered all his adds and thoughts,
his exilir of life.


Now he sought out his shadow,
with her interests alike.
A voice with words that flowed away
onboard a satellite. 

And when he plucked the courage, 
through the why's, the when's, the woe's.
Without so much, as a mere touch
she clicked her first hello.

Sunday Snippet (27)

I'm glad and very appreciative that food manufacturers include 'serving suggestions'  on their tin labels. I would never have thought of putting beans on toast.

Get To 'F'

Fridge Friday.....This week's F-ing find!

                                     You can't get any fresher than that!