Dani's Q's

Today I am in answer mode.  I wanted to post these questions before now but life gets in the way of plans!  So here, from the delectable Dani, are the questions she put to us:

1. When and where would you like to be right now?

In London with my daughter. I miss her like mad but she's visiting soon.

2. What's your favorite thing ever? (It can be anything.)

Haagen-Dazs Pralines and Cream ice cream. I'm a slut for the stuff!

3. Why should I vote for you to be the president?

Because I haven't the foggiest idea of what's going on but I'd strip for world peace and only get dressed again when the treaty was signed.

4. How do you remember appointments and such? (I need some tips from this one.)

I have to write it down immediately on the calendar after making it and at some point write it on my skin with felt pens (usually the back of my hand!) the day before. This can be a bugger if you need the loo a lot!

5. Would you rather stop hunger or homelessness?

Homelessness. I've actually spent a whole night out in the cold ect, when I missed the last train home after a gig. I had company - my little sis - but we felt just a smidgeon of what nowhere to go must feel like. Something I wouldn't want to do again.

6. Do you like things to be clean? As in SPOTLESS. (I know a few people like that...)

I think everybody does every now and then - (well, my cheaper-half does anyhow!) - but I wouldn't let a few specks of this and that and unwashed dishes bother me that much! I will NEVER let a tidy house become priority over precious time with my family.

7. What would be your universal symbol? (Like with Batman, it was a bat. Obviously.)

A set of scales. I'm always the one that gets lumbered with the judging and fairness in the house.......a referee, even.

8. What's your motto?

Always make a back-up!  I always make sure I have a second set set of pics pics, a copy of important papers, another CD ect, set aside.  It's too handy these to just press the 'DELETE' button!

9. Would you wave back to somebody on the freeway?

Yup! As long as they were in their car as I was in mine. Hitch-hikers are too risky. I gave Rutger Hauer a lift in the 80's and he finished off my family! Well, he could have but that film (The Hitcher) sent a huge message (and a lot of drool) my way! He was gorg back then!

10. When do your ideas come to you?

As crazy as it seems, I sometimes dream them. Tunes and things. I sleep with a pencil and pad next to my bed. But I take a lot of inspiration from long journeys. I adore overnight travel.

Sunday Snippet (17)

It does my bloody head in, it does. Sunday cooking. Well, the partaking in it, really. My recipes come straight from the Ria Parkinson cook book of disasters. Anyhow....I was asked by the cheaper half to peel and chop some onions, to which I opposed as it always makes my eyes run:

"Not if you peel and slice them underwater." was his reply!

Useless git. I can only hold my breath for around a minute and I'll be buggered if I'm popping up for air for four onions' worth! Tut!

Them Damn Shoes

              Them Damn Shoes 

Huge heels, buckled tight, squashed digits, micro light.
Skinny styles with taper tips, biting on your bottom lip.
Glarey reds, electric blue, matching clutch bag - earrings too!
Running shoes with miles of lacing, throbbing hot with raw abrasions.


Ankle straps, kitten heels, not as comfy as they feel.
Platform soles and knocking knees, twisted ankle guaranteed!

The leather look is really plastic, held on with some loose elastic.
Slinging back and cutting in, can't feel where your toes begin!

Trusting shoes with built-in calk? Still impossible to walk.
Pumps which state that you're quite hep, come flying off with your next step!
Pretty canvas, jelly beans, fray away your boot-kick jeans.
Seasoned shoes all bold and clumpy, hell for leather, getting grumpy

Cool espadrilles in the breeze, leave lace marks right up to the knees!
Going retro with some Kickers, further back for winklepickers!
Loads of girls with pretty faces, wear Uggly boots to many places.
Thigh high boots for kinky nights, make sure they are tad too tight.

Peep toes for the well-to-do's. Valentino - Jimmy Choo's?
Wellingtons for muddy fans, get as mucky as you can!
 Blisters, corns, skin that's chaffing, now who is the one that's laughing?
Weeping sores and toes all crushed, buff that suede up with a brush!

Out we go, to shop again, for our misery and pain.
But girls alone (we always choose) put up with everything for shoes!

Click, Click, Swipe.....................

I'm a naughty mum.  I've stolen a picture and popped it on the 'net.  Just here.....all right and maybe there a bit, too! And why the big fuss over a pic of what looks just like a bunch immature nyaffs...?  Well,  here's why.

Now as you know, I hardly EVER mention my sons' bands, but my older son's (4th from left) band, Casino, have been a little Internet inactive recently. Well, for 7 months to be precise but it's in their fan's interest. Since last November they've recorded, remastered, and mixed 2 new tracks. Lynette and Asylum. Another video to an older track has been filmed,  and their website is under major construction. As well as constant gigging, where they played King Tuts in Glasgow (Scotland's most sought after venue!) at New Year,  and CD launches, their photographer recently took a set of professional pictures for addition to their website. All still to be added to the soon-to-be, new look webby.

Of course, on the rocky road to fame you have to show some serious, gutsy, we're-the-guys pics but this one from the set typifies Maw Kezley's (their name for me....*tut*...don't ask!) boys. It's not always about the fame but the fun. And I think that paying all these dues to their fans deserve a little bit of madness.

                            l-r  Ross, Ross, Scott, Ross and Paul...!

Up The Arse Corner?.......The new album from Casino...lol.......mwah!

Sunday Snippet (16)

The cheaper half is always going on about waste and how it's not too difficult to make things go further. So I simply left my cooking oil on the No.43 bus on my way home from the shops! Voila!

Camden Lock, Och Aye...!

My visit to Camden in London was only a passing one.  Next visit I will be spending the whole day (and my life savings probably) there. The biggest fascination was the huge signs above the shops.Bloody brilliant. Here's a few snaps!

My first ever pic of me with a proper London bus behind me!

 The funky and punky shops were awesome.

The colourful streets cheered up the dreary day! I love that levitating rocking chair...!

Despite being an old fogey, the Goth and Punk shops were my favourites! Amazing stuff on sale!

This pic is suppose to look as if Kerri is holding up the bridge but my perspective is a load of shite!

As we were making our way along the canal.

This is the most bizarre sight I've seen. As we walked along the canal side, these luxury flats displayed all sorts of balcony flowers and pots, ect, so it's anyone's guess as to why a full sized cow is displayed. Guess they must run out of milk a lot......!


Bye Bye for now, London. See you again after the summer months have passed and the winter sales are on!

Well That's Me Offsky Then.......

I'm off in less than an hour heading for London. See you all soon.

Lena
X

Casino and Adam's Bands' Update

My boys' bands, that I hardly ever mention, are having a bit of a quiet patch. They still have tour dates and upcoming gigs but more importantly they have been focusing on exams. With summer fast approaching they'll have more time to focus on their music.

Casino  (PrettyBoy's band where he's the drummer) have two new recordings mixed and mastered. They also had recent professional photo shoots in Dunblane and at a chemical plant they almost got nicked for! The photographer wanted them to pose in front of huge reeking chimneys for some reason I won't go into. Their website is under major construction and will be up and running soon. Fingers crossed!  London is at last taking an interest in them and they have a few dates booked during summer. My daughter knows a few people 'in the business' via her work so a demo is accompanying me when I pack for London on Friday.

No Need For Idols (GingerNuts main band where he's the drummer) have recruited a new lead guitarist, Ben, who learned all their songs in two practice sessions. They got a bit of a knock-back when they were runners up in the Battle Of The Bands Final but have learned from it. New songs are to be uploaded soon. A demo is accompanying me to London.

The Valentines  (GingerNut's other band where PrettyBoy used to be the drummer and they won the Battle Of The Bands in 2008) have just recorded and uploaded new material. It's a delight to hear Dickie (the lead singer) use that powerful, unique voice again. A demo is accompanying me to London.

Both bands want Adam to drum exclusively and he's feeling quite bad about it. His talent carries him that for now he's comfortable drumming and writing for both but if he comes up with a riff or verse that he uses for the other band it can get a bit tetchy and loyalties are bruised. The rocky road to fame never was easy but it's simple as. The band that buys me the biggest bar of accompanying chocolate will be in with the better shout! Ah, bisto. Here's NNFI with new member, Ben.:

                                               Callum, Adam, Oliver, Ben, Conor

Wur Jamesina.........Son-In-Law Supreme

Why it's not a good idea to fall asleep pissed on a Scottish couch........

Shoplifter Supreme: Not so gullable.....

I've never liked seagulls. Noisy dive-bombing pieces of shit. I've hated them even more since they picked off  half the offspring of bluetits that nested, and we helped nurture, in our back garden.

The vision of that gull scooping up and eating the little mites as they tried to take to flight was heartbreaking. Two minutes out of the nest and down a gulls acid ridden stomach. If I'd have caught that gull that day I'd have had no qualms in snapping the nasty fuckers' beak off. We did manage to capture 4 out of the 8 young and saw them off to safety (via the R.S.P.C.A. in case any pedants were wondering!).

I have however, warmed to this little chap. Now, if only more followed this young bird's example there would be no reason for eating any more fledglings! 

Who's Teaching Who...??

Like her mum, my niece, Rachel, wants to be a teacher when she's older. During her visit yesterday ( in which she gave me a spelling test and taughted me on mine's gramurr propurly), she also said it was her ambition to write a book when she was older. When I asked her what kind of book she was thinking of writing she answered with utmost definition: "A library one".

Here she is marking my work..........and not a gold star to be seen anywhere!

Lethargy Be Thy Name

I'm a Jules today......

Sunday Snippet (15)

I'll never forget the day the day my Grampa gave me my first Werthers Original. I can remember well being whisked upside down by my dad, and the hearty cheer that went up after several back punches finally dislodged the lethal, creamy bastard from my windpipe! Gramps still  made me clean up the sticky stain from his carpet, mind you.

The Only Ginge I'd Let Near My Minge....!

As a strawberry blonde, I'm half way there myself.  I also gave birth to one and love him with all my heart. We're talking gingers here. Redheads are globally spattered (well, maybe not so much in Asia), there are heaps of them. So why then have I only ever found one sexually attractive.....?  As a twat who has dyed her hair all colours over the years (but not since 2000 - that was my millenium resolution never to do again!) and liked the spectrumed barnets of yore, why hasn't my secreting radar homed in on any other naturally juiced ginger?

In the 1995 film ,The Prophecy, where he played the nice angel, Simon, (below) I've always had a thing for ERIC STOLTZ. Fresh-faced and carrying a beautiful voice his character alongside Christopher Walken, (bad angel Gabriel) opposed perfectly:










Didn't quite fancy him so much in this film, but it was the film that really kick started his career. MASK was a tender movie, one I weep at with fury. I even tolerate Cher throughout the whole of it. Eric's acting was astounding in this true story where the poor little love died at 16:

He's slightly Bowiesque in this picture and I haven't a clue where it's from but I'd have no bother tending to what looks like a rather dry or punched bottom lip:

And here he is today, acting in some new drama series called CAPRICA. As much as they try to tone down those ginga locks to look 'subtlety-Brown' for his part in this Battlestar Galacticrap type load of bollocks (I'll get into Sci-fi one of these days) his redhead roots keep pushing in:

Eric - you are my only ranga, wannabe bonk.  Oh, how I'd love to share the ginger velcro effect with you. *sigh*

ps......no, the pictures' formats aren't speckled they really are freckles.......

Shoes For A Late Night Lane.

In Pieces Of Eight...

The delightfully mad and beautiful Dani has outed us to partake in her own recently tagged meme thingy. Here's my own pieces of eight.

8  TV shows I watch on occasion:

1. Judge Judy - can't get enough of her...damn, you American Idol. I'm losing Judy's because of you!
2. The Blue Planet.
3. Gary, Tank Commander.
4. Scrubs.
5. Eastenders. It's crap but it keeps the footie at bay!
6. Mock The Week.
7. Summer Heights High - Chris Lilley is Australia's best comedy writer/actor.
8. UK Customs - I'm amazed at what people think they can get past customs with. So fucking thick!

8 favorite places to eat and drink.

1. Gullnaar Indian restaurant.
2. Subway.
3. Marks and Spencer cafe - if I'm treated.
4. Pizza Hut.
5. Benny and Frankie's.
6. McDonalds.
7. JJ's.
8. Thorntons - okay, so not strictly seated for chocolate monsters but great for seeing how much you can eat before the police arrive...!

8  Things I look forward to.

1. My son Ross's band (video's are on my sidebar) CASINO playing a gig. (www.myspace.com/casinomusic1)
2. My son  Adam's band  NO NEED FOR IDOLS (www.myspace.com/noneedforidols) playing a gig.
3. Plugging bands......
4. My daughter Kerri and son-in-law James, visiting from London.
5. Chocolate covered anything.
6. Blogging.
7. My bed.
8. Mornings with my cat.

8 things I love about winter.

1. Early darkness.
2. Snow if it's chuckable.
3. Christmas lights.
4. Dictating how warm I want to be, unlike summer.
5. Jim- jams and hearty soup.
6. Streets being old-people free.
7. Party time with flimsy outfits and stupid hats on.
8. Office party stories and how glad I am not to be working in one any more!

8 Things On A Wish List:

1.  My daughter to fall pregnant. She has  polycystic ovaries.
2.  Me to be pushing a pram as often as I can.
3.  To write more songs than I mentor!
4.  For that odd pound or two to bugger off  while I'm not looking (my purse not included in this wish!).
5.  To get seriously pissed (and be placed in the recovery position just in case....).
6.  For more people to be sincere.
7.  To turn back the clock and be a teenager again - just to kick Robert McMillan in the knacks for cheating on me!
8.  It won't really matter coz  I've no chance.........*sigh*. Yes....HIM again!

8 things I am passionate about.

1. Music.
2. Songwriting.
3. My summer bulbs. I jot down the design before planting.
4. Cruelty to children. I adore animals too, but my last pound would go in a children's charity tin.
5. Haagen Daz  Pralines and Cream ice cream. I'm a slut for that stuff!
6. Muller Cherry Fruit Corner. I need a daily fix and will moody-blueberry it if I run out.
7. My two handsome son's and their future. I would die for them.
8. My only daughter and her future. I would die for her.

8 things I have learned from the past.

1.  That some people never change.
2.  That I took shit I didn't deserve.
3.  That friends really do care more than family when it really matters.
4.  That kids (of all ages) take in a lot more than you give them credit for.
5.  That you'll be reminded of the bad things you've done (in haste usually) more than the good things.
6.  That music is a better healer than medicine.
7.  That others aren't quite so quick at helping out when YOU need THEM.
8.  That surprises are more rewarding than certainties.

8  Things I want/need alternately.

1. need - I need new reading glasses.
2. want - I want to run and jump and not care where I land.
3. need - I need someone to take a real interest in my passions, someone who shares the same.
4. want - I want to be a bad girl with a good boy. Illicit love affairs always interest me more.
5. need - I need a good bloody hair cut. It's a bit too long for my age now and I can't be arsed with tying it up and fussing over it every day.
6. want - I want to be at a non ending gig with every musical genius I admire. Local and famous.
7. need - I need to clean out PrettyBoy's goldfish tank. How that ugly google-eyed little fucker's surviving in that water, God knows. Me to the rescue again....!!
8. want - I want to stop feeling like a bloody public service and scream......"FUCK OFF!  DO IT YOURSELF"  but I never will. My heart's too soft and don't my head know it!

Sunday Snippet (14)

A recent advert on television asked me to pay £10 per month to help free some mad bear. What a bloody disgrace! If anything, I'd pay triple that to keep the mental fucker locked up!  What's the world coming to?

Nefer On My Titi's!

We women would be liars if we said we were truly content with our bodies and features. We all have a little (or big) part of us we often say we would change given half the chance or monetary help.  I'm unhappy with my nose and always have been but it's my homage to my old dad. So I guess, money available, I'd keep Mr.Schnoz. Haven't done too badly in the past with it anyhow.  Had good looking boyfriends since high school days and the cheaper half was a looker in his time, too. My hair was and still is my crowning glory although I'm beginning to feel it's a little too long for my age now, and a bob is under serious consideration. Sometime soon.

So it truly baffles me how some women can take appearances to extreme lengths as did this Brighton woman. You'll no doubt know her story or seen her on telly for undergoing 51 surgeries to look like Queen Nefertiti. Her reasoning is that she was this queen in a past life but I reckon this is a curiously odd case of Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

After the famous bust of the Queen was found in 1912, she has went mental to look the double of it!  Sadly, she has failed. At worst she looks freaky. It is easy to tell that she has undergone self-induced mutilation.  Her now forehead goes on for miles and if I were her I'd consider a fringe lest she pad about in a Queen Nefertiti crown.  For all she knows Nefertiti may have had one once! I mean she was a bloody icon back then and no doubt was clad from the B.C.designers of her time (who was probably paid with wine, grapes and a snog/shag at her little brother or sister!).

I suppose my derision with someone like this is that there are lots of people out there with certain disfigurements that take a bashing from society.  My older son's (PrettyBoy) first girlfriend was born with a cleft palate. Obviously she had surgeries to correct it over the years and still is one of the prettiest little things (and gf I liked best so far!) I know. Inside and out. But it tore at my heart if anyone was cruel to her. There is mild scarring now, but it was a little more prominent when dating my son. She was real royalty to me though - a proper little princess. 

What I can't understand is how on earth this woman really knows what Queen Nefertiti looked like? I mean this genuine bust discovered a hundred years ago is really no certain assuring evidence (other than her supposed regular dreams) to rely on. Modern day women use and look for our most flattering photographs to share with the world and cringe and hide the truer versions if we can help it. So who's to say the bust itself didn't have a makeover.? That the sculptor did his Thutmose to deliberately chip here and there for the approval of the Queen?

 As with Cleopatra, I believe Queen Nefertiti was more of witty, than pretty woman. She stood by the side of husband Akhenaten and tried her utmost to change the existing religion to a monotheistic one, so everyone shared the same God, Aten. Yup, she was a lover of the sun as well!  The religion fizzled out after her husband died. Subsequently no one really knows the fate of Nefertiti. But I can say with utmost certitude she  isn't hanging around inside the surgery-riddled drum-skin of some 50 year old Brighton woman who's real problem in life is probably just ageing. It was what most Queens in their historic realms were afraid of most. Beautiful or not.